New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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