I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
