Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize