i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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