If i come over, it means nothing
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
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