.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Boobs speak an international language.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
