I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
