i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
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You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
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He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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