She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Randomize
