If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
