so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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