I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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