i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I'm getting married
To pizza
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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