went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
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