Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Randomize
