I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize