I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
