Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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