the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
