I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
It's just like the Real World with babies
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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