i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
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