you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
