Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
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