turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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