I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
