I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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