Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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