Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
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