He asked to "fluff my boner.."
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
