For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Say something about gay babies.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize