I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
