she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
