He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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