She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
