Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
