real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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