butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
My cat gives me a boner
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things ππ
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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