wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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