Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
