All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
