How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
My vagina just clenched in fear
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
