Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
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