But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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