ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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