you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
