Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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