Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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