After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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