she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
