Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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