Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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