I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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