Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
