The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
