if only i could text you this smell
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
