i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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